Still a long way to go
The airport was as empty as my mind. Ideally I should be jumping in air with excitement but I am not! My mind wandered into what I went through. Those broken dreams! Now, at the door steps of what I want, with a confused mind! Is this what I really want?
Two years back, when I celebrated my birthday with my best friend in a candle light dinner, I was the happiest person in the world and I knew exactly what I want. But then things fell apart. The caste crept in to our affair. We were taken apart by our family. I had the most dreadful moments facing my mom and dad, answering a lot of stuff in filmy dialogs. He also had his share of problems! Left the company, moved out to a new city. I was moved to my native place. Some long distance calls between us whose frequency reduced months after months. At the beginning we talked almost each hour, thinking distance will not affect us. But time, family and distance got the best of us. Then other commitments took my time. We both found it hard to digest that we are moving apart. Yes, finally it sunk in for both of us. This birthday went dry with some phone calls which left me among the wonderful moments I had with him, fighting for the flower in icing, fighting for the end row seat in theatre, the long walks …the long drives…
Yes, the GRE coaching really had the best of me. The dynamic facilitator in the coaching centre was a great guy to be with, until he proposed me over the movie.
I don’t know what made me sit next to him when we went out. I still remember the shock I got when he suddenly asked some thing so straight, to which I gave a blank face as the answer. I have to accept, he was good but I was already committed in a way …in a broken way where I cannot think of anything else but run away from my life.
Now I have lost everything! My best friend is back where he belongs, as a drunkard, with a heavy heart and a mass of pain…wandering in some bar. Look at me, waiting for my flight to the US where I will have my MS, to a life full of dead lines, assignments where I want to immerse myself completely and forget everything, forget the past…
Does god give us a second chance? Where we can at least see that, we don’t hurt so many people and in-turn hurt ourselves. Where I can forgive myself for what I went through? It hurts…..very deep. After I complete my MS, I will end up settled abroad to some high ranking IIM dude in a luxury apartment with all gizmos around and nothing which contribute happiness to life. Family ties will end up in phone calls and video chats. Life will be a sprint where we don’t know when it abruptly ends.
Still life moves forward… I can hear my last call over the airport speakers for the flight leaving to Frankfurt. I wish, god does not have many more surprises for me in US …..
The airport was as empty as my mind. Ideally I should be jumping in air with excitement but I am not! My mind wandered into what I went through. Those broken dreams! Now, at the door steps of what I want, with a confused mind! Is this what I really want?
Two years back, when I celebrated my birthday with my best friend in a candle light dinner, I was the happiest person in the world and I knew exactly what I want. But then things fell apart. The caste crept in to our affair. We were taken apart by our family. I had the most dreadful moments facing my mom and dad, answering a lot of stuff in filmy dialogs. He also had his share of problems! Left the company, moved out to a new city. I was moved to my native place. Some long distance calls between us whose frequency reduced months after months. At the beginning we talked almost each hour, thinking distance will not affect us. But time, family and distance got the best of us. Then other commitments took my time. We both found it hard to digest that we are moving apart. Yes, finally it sunk in for both of us. This birthday went dry with some phone calls which left me among the wonderful moments I had with him, fighting for the flower in icing, fighting for the end row seat in theatre, the long walks …the long drives…
Yes, the GRE coaching really had the best of me. The dynamic facilitator in the coaching centre was a great guy to be with, until he proposed me over the movie.
I don’t know what made me sit next to him when we went out. I still remember the shock I got when he suddenly asked some thing so straight, to which I gave a blank face as the answer. I have to accept, he was good but I was already committed in a way …in a broken way where I cannot think of anything else but run away from my life.
Now I have lost everything! My best friend is back where he belongs, as a drunkard, with a heavy heart and a mass of pain…wandering in some bar. Look at me, waiting for my flight to the US where I will have my MS, to a life full of dead lines, assignments where I want to immerse myself completely and forget everything, forget the past…
Does god give us a second chance? Where we can at least see that, we don’t hurt so many people and in-turn hurt ourselves. Where I can forgive myself for what I went through? It hurts…..very deep. After I complete my MS, I will end up settled abroad to some high ranking IIM dude in a luxury apartment with all gizmos around and nothing which contribute happiness to life. Family ties will end up in phone calls and video chats. Life will be a sprint where we don’t know when it abruptly ends.
Still life moves forward… I can hear my last call over the airport speakers for the flight leaving to Frankfurt. I wish, god does not have many more surprises for me in US …..
2 comments:
What a coincidence! I don’t know will believe or not! But believe it…I’m going through the same pangs of life. Moments are heartbreaking ….when I go through the lines …My God! I was shocked….how similar the turns of life… but you posted this one year back….I’m so eager to hear what happened in your life? I’m not interfering to personal privacy but just an anxiety…did you get a great life that you dreamt? Or did you surprise by unbelievable new gift of God? Because, life always keeps surprises in every turns of life’s journey.
Hey Diya,
Corridor of life is my own fictional story and there is no problem of privacy here :) I will keep moving with the story of 'Her' and see how much I can beat out of my imagination and touch some moments of life....
and thanks for the comment, I felt good
Shanks
Post a Comment